![]() But can you imagine if they did? That every step of Yankovic’s way – the first Hawaiian shirt, the epiphany of riffing on My Sharona as My Bologna – carried the same portentous sense of fate that rings through most music biopics? “I don’t know what I’ll do if I lose… live on the streets, maybe,” he told the reporters in his basement.TORONTO (AP) – When a young, bespectacled Al Yankovic picked up an accordion, few – especially Al, himself – would have predicted the long-running show-business career that would follow. Yankovic is currently the frontrunner in the election, as no one else has announced their candidacy yet. We all know his best performance is in Swiss Army Man starring Paul Dano, a wonderful film Tucker, you know it, I know it,” he continued. “He’s only doing this to promote his upcoming biopic starring Daniel Radcliffe, an actor with a great range, the best range, totally underutilized in the Harry Potter films, Tucker. Everyone knows I’m the weirdest candidate everyone says I do the best Michael Jackson parodies,” Trump told Fox News pundit Tucker Carlson on Wednesday. In particular he has drawn the ire of fellow celebrity-turned-politician, Trump. Yankovic has attracted his fair share of detractors. His rallies consist mostly of him playing hour-long rock operas on his accordion. The candidate is already on the campaign trail, traveling the country to kiss hands and shake babies. ![]() “‘White N’ Nerdy’ is a flat-out macroaggression against me and my incel culture, and my blood boils with rage whenever I hear it,” he added. “As a member of the country’s most oppressed minority, I wouldn’t feel comfortable with a gamerphobic president in office,” professional gamer Gilbert Koogler said. Members of the gamer community were particularly enraged. However, not all are supportive of the curly-haired cretin’s bid for the presidency. “Weird Al” Yankovic, known for classics like “Amish Paradise,” is bringing his comedic styling to U.S. ![]() Photo courtesy of “Ramona Flowers,” according to simps “‘Amish Paradise’ is my f*ckin’ jam! We get that sh*t crankin’ in the horse and buggy! ‘Don’t be vain, and don’t be whiny, or else my brotha I might have to get medieval on your heiney!” Smucker said. Jebidiah Smucker, a pastor in Cincinnati’s local Amish scene, elaborated. Yankovic has already gained a large political following, particularly among the Amish community. He also has parodied former president Donald Trump’s classic slogan with a cheesy pun: “Make Parmesan Grate Again.” Classic. His “Build Back Worse” bill aims to turn President Joe Biden’s “Build Back Better” on its head by not only making life worse for Americans, but also by actually getting past Sen. His “Don’t Say Hey!” bill would see that the word “hey” is banned from being taught or even said in schools across the nation. In classic Weird Al fashion, he also announced plans for policies which would parody those written by fellow politicians. This would entail mandatory accordion lessons every day, a strict nationwide dress code calling only for Hawaiian shirts and a requirement for all citizens to read each month’s edition of MAD Magazine. The party’s main concern is enforcing mandatory fun for all U.S. Yankovic will not be running as a Democrat or Republican but rather under his own party: The Polka Party. “I mean, I couldn’t think of a funny way to parody ‘Industry Baby,’ so this just seemed like the next logical move.” “It just seemed like the right thing to do,” Yankovic told a group of terrified reporters tied up in his basement. Weird Al Yankovic, the glasses-wearing, mustache-sporting, pop song-parodying, hamster-herding King of Polka, announced on Tuesday that he will run for president in 2024. The candidate draws widespread criticism from the gamer/incel communities By Tractor, Honk Honk! DISCLAIMER: THIS PIECE IS SATIRE, WRITTEN FOR OUR APRIL FOOL’S EDITION, AND IT IS NOT BASED ON TRUE EVENTS.
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